Anthropology?

Fred and Frannie Gunderson were off to North Dakota to visit Fred's brother. They left the keys with May and asked if Junie could keep an eye on the place while they were away. They did not have any pets for Junie to care for, but they did have lovely berry bushes, an extraordinary collection of Appalachian folk instruments dating back to the 1830's, and Colombian folk art of more recent provenance. They were in their fifties, childless, and had somehow come to the conclusion that May's children were short adults (probably because Junie was rather precocious, tested genius-level on an I.Q. test and was more comfortable conversing with adults given her considerable social deficits). Junie, however, being a fractious and mercurial child, seized upon the opportunity and used Fred and Frannie's home as a sort of archaeological and anthropological study. She puzzled over the art and tried all the instruments until finally able to play something resembling music on the hammer dulcimer, but little else. She searched the cupboards for goodies and was disappointed to only find several boxes of Rykrisps and a half-eaten roll of fruit-flavored Certs in the kitchen counter candy/keys/paper clips dish. She figured they wouldn't miss one or two....

Junie was named for the month of her conception, not her birth. May and James Zether had just attended a musical theater production of "Albert and Marilyn", a play that explores the nexus between sexuality and relativity, featuring such songs as "She =DD squared" and "G-string Theory". James was electrified by the performance. Enough said....

May Zether had finally decided it was time to do something about her hair. The obvious choice should have been to try out the new salon in town, "Campus Clippers". All the vibrant younger women of the town were giving the new business a try, as the hometown hero, Daniel Fritz and his young wife Penny, were the owner/manager. And seeing as there was no college "campus" nearby, the shop catered to mothers of school age children and soon-to-be coeds. May felt torn because of her obvious allegiance to Sonny of "Hair by Sonny". It was Sonny who styled her wedding reception/garden party up-do. It was Sonny who gave Johnette and Junie their first pixies....

Carter Reed arrived home early Saturday morning. He had spent the night at his cousin's frat party way out at the Colleges. His cousin went to Mudd, predominantly known for it efforts toward the perpetuation of male genius domination. Apparently Mudd men attract a few women, some equal in genius but lacking in pulchritude. So it goes that the Mudd men have mastered the use of "Good and Plenty" goggles to their advantage. Carter discovered that chanting "Good and Plenty, Good and Plenty, Good and Plenty", while pounding back shots of Ouzo, makes the most unlikely things happen....